Besides spiders, and sadly the dark one of my biggest fears is not being accepted and not achieving the things that I start. I feel like middle school and high school were a breeze and not challenging what so ever will all the classes I took. That made me nervous coming into college because its a whole new world with people you barely know. I was with the same kids every year since 6th grade, a majority even 1st grade. So when your put into a whole new world you need to adapt. and I am not the best with change. That also goes along with my fears.
It is very easy for me to give up but a lot of the times I try not to because my parents always taught me when I was little that if I started something, then I had to finish it and always give it my best effort. In my 18 years of doing activities and what not I have only quit one thing in the middle of it, and I regret it every time I think about it. But school is a challenge for me. Its a struggle to get up and drive to school. Its a struggle to want to find all the right reasons to go to class, then to make up every excuse not to go. But when I was younger that was never a problem. I had perfect attendance all throughout elementary school, middle school, and even high school. I had never missed a day even if I was sick. But now thats completely different. Im not obligated to go to class and sit there and learn something I have the option to completely ignore. Now I choose what I want to do. And I do have goals for myself, and a future planned out in my head. But when I actually sit here and think about it, I don't want to accomplish it because I feel like I won't succeed or be the best I could be and nobody will accept it. If I fail at school I would disappoint my parents and my family because they believe that I could do it.
I haven't really "faced" my fear, but to me I face it everyday. When I do homework, get up and go to class, pass a test, participate in class I am one step closer to getting a degree and fulfilling the expectations I have for myself. In a way I am a procrastinator, but I like to get things done fast and right away, which is kind of contradicting myself. But it takes a lot for me to do school work because I'm not all that into it. But I always like to look at the big picture. In 4-5 years I will graduate college, have a degree, hopefully a job and live my life knowing that I accomplished something so many people wish they could everyday. And thats what makes me more and more motivated everyday to keep pushing myself.
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